Jets – Giants Play by Play Live from New York City Dive Bar

Posted: December 25, 2011 in Bunker
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Live Journal – New York State of Mind – Giants vs. Jets. Live from Manhattan Island.

12:09 – I got off the Bolt Bus from Washington D.C. I forgot how cold it was in New York. I was quickly reminded when I saw a host of Marmots and North Faces, I was left with a thin red and black hooded sweatshirt. I walked straight down Spring Street, looking for the closest sports bar with a good drink deal.

12:20 – I got to Off the Wagon at 109 MacDougal, which was surprisingly empty given there were a host of great games coming up. I gave New Yorkers the benefit of the doubt, it was Christmas Eve.

12:22 – After taking my seat at the bar, I heard a stampede. I turned around to see 12 Jets fans running upstairs, followed by five or six Giants fans, running in as if they planned the whole thing.

12:35 – A racially ambiguous Jets fan confronts me speaking in what I thought was English. Translation: “What team are you cheering for, because I am confused by your neutral colors. You are wearing black, which indicates you are neither a Jets fan nor a Giants fan.” He also mentioned that it’s okay if the Giants lost, because if the Cowboys won, the Giants still had a chance to make the playoffs. At that point, I knew I was the pretentious fan; I turned around and dismissed him without even responding. [For those who don’t know, if the Giants lost this game and the Cowboys won, the Giants would be eliminated from the playoffs]

12:44 – ESPN promo with Antrelle Rolle and Brandon Jacobs discussing what it means to be a New Yorker. Stupid. There is no reason there should be three hours of NFL Countdown. It’s a pure waste of television time.

12:50 – The crowd began erupting as the ESPN analysts make their picks for the NYJ-NYG game. I realized at the point, the bar was split by floor: Giants fans downstairs, Jets fans upstairs (with a sprinkle of Giants fans roaming around). I was of course stuck with the lowly Jets fans. I didn’t know people actually cheered and booed picks.

12:56 – Glad to see the most hyped game of the week in the biggest market getting the B-team treatment from Fox. I was highly disappointed to see Kenny Albert and Daryl “Moose” Johnston. If I had my choice between the two animals I’ll take a lame unenthusiastic Buck over a dull Moose every time.

1:00 – Kickoff – Fifth of 22 J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! chants.  I hate the chant, mostly due to jealousy. The best I have is “GGGGGG MEEEENNNNNN”. There is no way to arouse a spontaneous chorus with that. Pitcher #1

1:05: Giants hand the ball off twice for a total of two yards and Eli Manning throws a pass short of the first down. 3 and out! Good start for the Giants. I put my head down, while the sixth Jets chant breaks out.

1:13: Giants stop the Jets on 4th down. I pump my fists in the faces of the Jets fans next to me. Only to see that the Giants had 12 men on the field. Good. Another gulp of Bud Light.

1:15: Josh Baker Touchdown reception from Mark Sanchez. Moose praises Brian Schottenheimer and Sanchez for sticking to the game plan aka run the ball for at least 6 yards in the first two downs, so that Sanchez doesn’t really have to play Quarterback. Bitter.  Giants 0 Jets 7

1:25 : Eli sacked. The Jets fans erupt. I move closer to the edge of the bar. The game is eerily resembling the Redskins game, where the Giants came out flat. They struggled to move the ball. Eli looked awkward, which isn’t saying much, but he looked dopey in the first few drives. Again not saying much.

1:31: Another Giants drop. For as much as the statistics and analysts love to credit the Giants “young explosive” wide receiver core for the reason Eli’s having such a great year, Eli would be putting up Dan Marino-esq. numbers if they held onto the ball. The Giants lead the league in drops. Drive killing and touchdown-squandering drops, but of course all of the blame will go on the slouching shoulders of the younger Manning.

1:33: Brandon Jacobs sighting. Trucks Kyle Wilson. As much as a malcontent that guy can be, no one can deny that when he’s running hard, he adds something special to the Giants’ offense.

1:37: Another punt. Another Jets chant

1:48: Victor Cruz makes a nice catch and run to the goal line. I can’t stand this guy. He’s either breaking off 80 yard runs and making circus catches or running the wrong route or having the ball bounce off of his face. Frustrating, but all anyone says is “I love that guy, he’s on my fantasy team!”

The Goal line also means there’s a chance that Brandon Jacobs could score! Which means inappropriate touchdown dance! I’m very excited for this.

1:51: 2 more drops lead to a Giants field goal. No Brandon Jacobs dance, no touchdown, also robs me of the excuse to do the dance, without seeming as though I’m a sexual predator. JETS fans go craaazy. DEFENSE! DEFENSE! J- E… ninth chant. Someone screamed about “Revis Island”, I also heard something about the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot and Tim Tebow.  Jets 7 Giants 3

2:05: I don’t know who the Giants Special Teams coordinator is, but he should be fired immediately. They have not had a significant return or game-changing play as a result of special teams. Besides punt returners fumbling of course.

2:13: Jets fans completely misunderstood the illegal touching rule. In the mean time, the excitement in the game slowed down significantly at this point. The game was an offensive struggle at that point. This left a lot of time for the women in the bar to get distracted and begin talking about one another. This included the women commenting on the perkiness of each others’ breasts, not that I was listening. I also overheard one woman (Jet fan of course) accuse the other woman of having “breasts so huge, she could  feed a whole village in the Philippines.” I just googled “Population of villages in the Philippines” and I agree.

2:16: Bar tender offers me buffalo wings. She clearly understands men, but doesn’t understand black men. You know what they say, if you ever build a canoe, paint it black, because it won’t tip.

(At some point): Victor Cruz takes an 11-yard catch and turns it into a 99-yard touchdown. Oh! No Brandon Jacobs dance, but I get the questionably offensive salsa touchdown dance. I’ll take it. Giants take the lead for the first time. Jets 7 Giants 10

2:25: Aaron Ross picks up a fumble and runs into the end zone for a touchdown. It didn’t look like a fumble. A closer look revealed that it was a very close play. It looked as though Antrelle Rolle kicked the ball out of the receiver’s arms. Either way, it was inconclusive, which means the play should stand.

2:27: The play was reversed. Much to my dismay. 11th Jets chant.

Bladder Relief : I bumped into an old blue collar white male wearing a random jersey of some back-up center that I’m sure even Pat Hanlon is unaware exists. “Terrible call”, he said leaning over the urinal. “But we’ll get them,” he said as he spilled on the floor in front of him. “In Eli I trust,” he grunted. He pat me on the back. Still unsure, whether he bothered to wash his hands.

2:35: Jets missed field goal to end the half.

HALFTIME: Where the ridiculous happens. The atmosphere evolved from a stadium to a parade. Not Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parades, but more along the lines of Labor Day Parade, Puerto Rican Day Parade, grope fest type of parade. It happened so quickly. A minute after I digested the groping/dancing, a rock version of the driedel song began playing. Although the bar was filled with primarily gentiles, they all grouped together both Jets and Giants fans, swayed back and forth singing along.

2:52: Giants Defense gets a three and out? – Yes! Pitcher #2

3:29: Bradshaw trucks Rodney Pool and the bar goes crazy. Jets 7 Giants 17. This feels good. The Jets fans are slowly coming to the realization that they could lose the game.

3:52: Sanchez driving. Throws a fade route to Plaxico Burress for the Touchdown. Revenge! I have Jets fans hounding me, until… YES! Pass Interference, Offense number #17.

3:54: Right on cue. Sanchez fumbles!

Shot interlude

3:55: Play reversed. Jets fans rejoice. JETS chant #16

4:00: 3rd and Goal from the 2. Pro-Bowl Center Nick Mangold fumbles the ball. However, no one in the bar realizes that the Giants recovered the ball. JETS chant #17.

4:01: Jets fans are confused when they see the Giants with the football. Jets 7 Giants 20

4:02: Hakeem “Great Hands” Nicks, has the ball bounce of his hands and chest for another undeserved blow to Eli Manning’s stats. Why wouldn’t they run the ball? Coughlin/whoever calls plays confuses me. Judging by his reaction, I think Coughlin was confused why they didn’t run the ball.

4:05: Pierre-Paul comes up big with a strip sack. I pump my fists in the face of the Filipino-village breast feeding woman. She called me a faggot. I think that was uncalled for.

4:06: Rex Ryan wins another challenge. The Giants just can’t get a break.

4:10: Sanchez runs it in for a Touchdown. JETS chant #18 and #19. Jets 14 Giants 20

4:15: The Cowboys-Eagles games starts and throws my focus off for a bit. I miss a few plays including a rare DJ Ware first down.

4:20: Sanchez gets the ball. Can he be that clutch player every Jets fan claims he is. He drops back, Chris Canty grabs him in the end zone and he throws the ball to D’Brickashaw Ferguson. Safety! Giants fans lose it jumping on top of the Jet fans, again the word Faggot and bitch was thrown around a lot. Jets 14 Giants 22

4:23: Free-kick on-side kick. JETS chant #22. Giants recover.

4:25: Ahmad Bradshaw ends the day with a touchdown! Jets 14 Giants 29


Dallas vs. Giants next week! I’m live.


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